Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Timbuktu Short Poems

Timbuktu Short PoemsIn the USA there is a gameshow where you have to make up short poems containing a special word with in one minute. In the final show there are only two people left: A rabby from New York and a farmer from NZ. They get the word "Timbouktou".

The rabby is first. He starts:

"I was a father all my life,
I had no children, had no wife,
I read the bible through and through
on my way to Timbuktu....."

The audiance is fascinated. Nobody belives that the farmer could top this. Now he starts:

"When Tim and I to Brisbane went,
We met three ladies cheap to rent,
they were three and we were two.
So, I booked one and Tim booked two..."

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

George W Bush and the Queen of England

George W Bush and the Queen of EnglandGeorge W. Bush meets with the Queen of England. He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"

"Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

Bush frowns. "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"

The Queen takes a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence riddle."

The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. "Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?"

Tony Blair walks into the room. "Yes, Your Majesty?"

The Queen smiles. "Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"

Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answers, "That would be me."

"Yes! Very good," says the Queen.

Back at the White House, Bush asks to speak with vice president Dick Cheney. "Dick, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"

"I'm not sure," says the vice president. "Let me get back to you on that one."

Dick Cheney goes to his advisors and asks every one, but none can give him an answer. Finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes Colin Powell's shoes in the next stall.

Dick shouts, "Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Colin Powell yells back, "That's easy. It's me!"

Dick Cheney smiles. "Thanks!"

Cheney goes back to the Oval Office to speak with Bush. "Say, I did so much research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Colin Powell."

Bush gets up, stomps over to Dick Cheney, and angrily yells into his face, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

Monday, March 23, 2009

Teachers and Students Jokes

Teachers and Students JokesA secondary school student asked his teacher if a person should be punished for something he hadn't done. "Of course not," said the teacher. "Good," said the boy. "I haven't done my homework."

Teacher: Give me a sentence beginning with 'I'.
Student: I is the...
Teacher: No. You must say "I am" not "I is."
Student: All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Teacher: What do you get if you multiply 8 by 7?
Student: The wrong answer.

Teacher: "Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn't that wonderful?"
Student: "Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn't have discovered anything."

Teacher: What do you get if you multiply 8 by 7?
Student: 48.
Teacher: Wrong.
Student: But you asked me if I multiplied!

Teacher: George, go to the map and find North America.
George: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
Class: George!

Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and
stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Student: Brotherly love.

Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
Student: A teacher.

Funny Teddy Bear USB Gadgets

A Teddy bear, that have a USB 2.0 flash drive inside. hen you plug your Teddy Bear(that is also an USB) to your computer he looks very funny. The bear looks like he got his head stuck in the computer.

Below is a fun MP3 player for little gadget geeks, the USB Teddy Bear MP3 Player. This teddy bear MP3 player has the volume and MP3 controls built into its feet, it also has a built in voice recorder.