Sunday, September 26, 2010

Surgeon Jokes

I'm sick of specialists. There are ear doctors, nose doctors, throat doctors, any place you've got a hole, there's a guy who dedicate yourself to this hole. They make an entire career out of that hole. And if the ear doctor, nose doctor, gynecologist can't help you, he sends you to a surgeon. Why? So he can make a new hole!

Surgeon goes to hell. Devil says, "You have a choice between these 2 doors, I'll let you have a look in each to see where you want to spend the rest of eternity."
Surgeon opens the first door: room with twenty patients all complaining at the same time! "Whoa, no way! Not this one."
Surgeon opens second door: Medical records, endless hallway of papers to sign." No way! "
Surgeon notices a third door and opens it: A Surgeon's lounge. Big screen, full of beers. Recliners, with a nurse giving each Surgeon oral sex! "This is the door I chose for eternity" states the surgeon.
"Nope, one of the first 2 doors." says the devil.
"No! Why?"
"Cause the 3rd door is NURSE"S HELL!!!"

What's the difference between a surgeon and God?
God doesn't think he's surgeon.

A famous surgeon went on a safari in Africa. When he came back, his coworkers asked him how it had been. "Oh, it was very disappointing," he said. "I didn't kill a thing. I'd have been better off staying here in the hospital."

This older Jewish man was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to receive the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son. "Yes Dad, what is it?" "Don't be nervous, son, do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me ...
your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...

Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The first one said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. Everything inside is numbered". "I think librarians are the easiest" said the second surgeon. "When you open them up all their organs are alphabetically ordered". The third surgeon said, "I prefer to operate on electricians. All their organs are color coded". The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They are heartless, spineless, gutless, and their head and their ass are interchangeable."

I got the bill for my surgery.
Now I know why those doctors were wearing masks.