Saturday, June 28, 2008

Short Funny Stories

Short Funny StoriesWife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible,
I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself,
"What other problem can there be greater than this one?"
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card.
"Son: "My friend just borrowed it.
He wants to scare his parents."
A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans".
"My father grows beans," said one student.
"My father cooks beans," said another.
Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."
Interviewer to Millionaire: "To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire to?
"Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"Millionaire: "A Billionaire"
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the Warning.
Man to wife on wedding night: Are you sure I'm the first man you are sleeping with?
Wife replied: Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!
A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me - my pretty face or my sexy body?
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of humour.
Doctor to his lady patient: You look terribly weak and exhausted! Are you having your meals three times a day as I have advised?
Lady replied: Doctor, I thought you said three males a day.