District 9, is a 2009 science fiction film directed by Neill Blomkamp, released on August 14, 2009 in North America by TriStar Pictures, starring Sharlto Copley, Jason Cope and Robert Hobbs. If you saw this movie you will like this picture - District 9 Little Prawn Bound Toy!
A guy walks into a bar, sits down next to a different guy and instantly notices the guy has a very huge Bic cigarette lighter.
The first guy says "Wow, that’s a enormous lighter…where did you get it?"
The guy replies, "A genie from this bottle granted me one wish."
"Great, can I try it?"
"Sure."
The first guy rubs the bottle and the genie come out. "You are granted one wish," says the genie.
The guy says, "I want a million bucks!"
"Done" says the genie and fades away.
A few minutes go by and suddenly the bar door opens and pouring in some ducks. Thousands and thousands of ducks falling all over each other through the bar door.
"I can’t believe this," says the guy who had just placed his wish, "I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!"
The second guy then says, "Do you really think I wished for a 12 inch Bic?"
There was a man who lost one of his arms in an accident. He became very depressed because he had loved to play guitar and do many things that took two arms.
One day he had had it. He decided to commit suicide. He got on an elevator and went to the top of a building to jump off. He was standing on the edge looking down and saw this man skipping along, whistling and kicking up his heels. He looked closer and saw this man did not have any arms at all. He started thinking, what am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself, I still have one good arm to do things with. There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk happy and going on with his life.
He hurried down and caught up with the man with no arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because he had lost one of his arms, felt ugly and useless, and was going to kill himself. He thanked him, again for saving his life and he knew he could make it with one arm if that guy could go on with no arms.
The man with no arms began dancing, whistling, and kicking up his heels again. He asked, "Why are you so happy anyway"?
He replied, "I'm not happy; my ass itches!"
A well-dressed salesman stopped a man in the street and asked -
'Sir, would you like to buy a bottle of this mouthwash for $200?'
The man said, "Are you nuts? that's robbery!"
The salesman seemed hurt and then tries again -
'Sir, since you are a bit irate, I'll sell it to you at half price - $100?'
Yet again, the man replies frankly – 'You must be crazy pal, now go away!'
The salesman then reaches into his suitcase and take out two cakes and begins eat up on one of them. He tells the annoyed guy -
'Sir, please share one of my cakes since I have irritated you so much'.
Unwrapping the cake, the guy takes a bite; rapidly, the guy spits it out and says:
'Hey,' he snarled, 'this cake tastes like crap!'
'It is,' the salesman responded. 'Wanna buy some mouthwash?'
Regardless of what you may hear, there's still many women these days, who are excellent "housekeepers". Seems each time they get a divorce, they keep the house.
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A French guest, staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper. "Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge. "Toilette pepper!"
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Moe: My wife converted me to religion.
Joe: Really?
Moe: Yes. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell.
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Mary Jane was walking on the beach one day and saw a shark swimming around a man.
The man was screaming, "Help me! Help me!"
Mary Jane laughed and laughed! She knew that the shark was never going to help that man!
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Q: How does a man show he's planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
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I was out with one of my best drinking buddies, George, and he was talking about marriage, and then his wife. He drank some, then said,
"Well, what it comes down to Jimmy, is... well... my wife knows nothing of my wants and needs... she's hardly ever in the mood for sex... I guess what it comes down to is that my wife just doesn't understand me at all, does yours ?"
I thought about it a minute or two, then said. "I don't think so George, as a matter of fact, I don't recall her ever even mentioning your name at all."
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Two poor kids were invited by a rich kid to a swimming party at his pool.
When they were changing into their swim trunks, one turned to the other
and said: "Did you notice the small dongs on the rich kids?"
The other answered: "Yeah! It's probably because they have toys to play
with!"