Funny Short Math Jokes

- Math is like love; a simple idea, but it can get complicated.

- Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN ?
- She didn't know what ONE came first...

- Several scientists were all posed the following question: "What is pi ?"
- The engineer said: "It is approximately 3 and 1/7"
- The physicist said: "It is 3.14159"
- The mathematician thought a bit, and replied "It is equal to pi".
- A nutritionist: "Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!"

- Teacher: What's 2 and 2?
- Pupil: 4
- Teacher: That's good.
- Pupil: Good?, that's perfect!

- A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.
- "Sorry I can't serve you," states the barman.
- "Why not?!" asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice.
- "You're under 18," replies the barman.


Football Math Test

A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play."

The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks, "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?"

The player thought for a moment and then he answered, "4?"

"Did you say 4?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right.

At that, all the other players on the team began screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance!"

Funny Facts

- The original name of Bank of America was Bank of Italy.

- Turtles can breathe through their butts.

- Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33.

- In Cleveland, Ohio it is illegal to catch mice without a hunting license.

- Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

- Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn’t wear pants.

- McDonalds calls frequent buyers of their food heavy users.

- You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

- In Tokyo, a bicycle is faster than a car for most trips of less than 50 minutes!

- There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos!

- Pablo Picasso's Full Name Has 23 Words

A Man and His Dog

/* story seems to be not so funny or short ;), but inspiring */

A man and his dog were walking along a street. The man was get pleasure from walk, when it suddenly idea that he was dead comed to his mind. He recalled dying, and that his faithful dog had been dead for many years. He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. As he reached the wall, he saw a splendid gate in the arch, and the street that led to the gate made from pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"

"This is heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water? We have traveled far," the man said.

"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up."

The gate began to open.

"Can my friend, come in, too?" the traveler asked.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought a second, remembering all the years this dog remained loyal to him and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going. After another long walk he came to a plain dirt road, which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

"Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water? We have traveled far."

"Yes, sure, there's a faucet over there." The man pointed to a place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in and help yourself."

"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to his dog.

"There should be a bowl by the faucet; he is welcome to share."

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned faucet with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them.

"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.

"This is heaven," was the answer.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"

"No. We're just happy that they screen out the folks who'd leave their best friends behind in exchange for material things."

District 9 Little Prawn Bound Toy

District 9, is a 2009 science fiction film directed by Neill Blomkamp, released on August 14, 2009 in North America by TriStar Pictures, starring Sharlto Copley, Jason Cope and Robert Hobbs. If you saw this movie you will like this picture - District 9 Little Prawn Bound Toy!

The Million Bucks Wish

A guy walks into a bar, sits down next to a different guy and instantly notices the guy has a very huge Bic cigarette lighter.

The first guy says "Wow, that’s a enormous lighter…where did you get it?"
The guy replies, "A genie from this bottle granted me one wish."

"Great, can I try it?"
"Sure."

The first guy rubs the bottle and the genie come out. "You are granted one wish," says the genie.

The guy says, "I want a million bucks!"
"Done" says the genie and fades away.

A few minutes go by and suddenly the bar door opens and pouring in some ducks. Thousands and thousands of ducks falling all over each other through the bar door.

"I can’t believe this," says the guy who had just placed his wish, "I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!"

The second guy then says, "Do you really think I wished for a 12 inch Bic?"