Witty Replies

Did you hear the story about the giraffe?
Forget it its too long.

What animal has 2 legs 2 eyes 2wind can't fly has a peek ?
It's a died bird

What do you call a man who lives in an envelope?
Bill.

Waiter how long will the chips be?
About five centimeters each, I expect sir.

Wanna know why divorces are so expensive?
Because they're worth it.

What did the cow say to the other cow?
Nothing because they cant talk.

What happens to the man who lost his whole left side of his body?
He is all right now.

Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
When the kids leave home.

Whats long, hard, and full of seman?
A submarine.

What's the difference between a good joke and this?
Everything.