Damn Short Jokes

One cow says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
The other cow says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"

Teacher: Did you father help your with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.

A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.
B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.

Mother: "Did you enjoy your first day at school?"
Girl: "First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?

Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.

My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
So I asked him "What was the name of his other leg?"

Did you hear about the skeleton who walked into a cafe?
He ordered a cup of coffee and a mop.

Teacher: Do you have trouble making decisions?
Student: Well...yes and no.

"Why do you take baths in milk?"
"I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower."

Customer: Excuse me, but I saw your thumb in my soup when you were carrying it.
Waitress: Oh, that's okay. The soup isn't hot.