Zombie Jokes

Right now, when the Woody Harrelson's 'Zombieland' finds that tricky balance of the laugh-out-loud funny and the make-you-jump scary, it is right time to recollect some old zombie jokes!

- How do you know a zombie is tired?
- He's dead on his feet.

- What's a zombie say when he gets a letter from his girlfriend?
- It's a dead-letter day.

- What's a zombie's favorite shampoo?
- Head and shoulders

- Where do zombies go for cruises?
- The Deaditerranean Sea.

- What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
- Dead ends...

- Two zombies and a Harman go into a bar. The first zombie says to the other zombie, "Graaaghaa haarann margahhaa naaarrrrrrgnn!"
- The other zombie says "Hrraaaaa Maggaa GRAMMA GRAMMA bargh nrrrrhr!"
- And then they eat the Harman.

- We all know what zombies like. They like braaaains. However, that's just in general. Zombies come from all walks of after-life.

- What do zombie laundresses worry about? Staaaaains.
- How do zombies get to work? Traaaaaains.
- What does the zombie doctor cure? Paaains.
- What do zombie poets write? Quatraaaains.
- And the zombie songwriter? Refraaains.

- What is a zombie's favorite movie? Shaaaaaaane.
Why are zombies always willing to be in movies? Faaaaame.

- What do vegetarian zombies eat? Graaains.
- What do zombies order at Chinese restaurants? Chow Meeeeins.
- How do zombies practice birth control? Abstaaaain.
- What are these jokes? Inaaaaane.

- What is a zombie's favorite pet? Great Daaaaaanes.
- Why do zombies eat flesh? cuz they're insaaaaaane in the membraaaaaaane
- What state do zombies originate from? Maaaaiiiinne.
- What do zombie Teletubbies say? Agaaain, agaaain!

- What's a zombie's favorite weather? Raaaain.
- What kind of underwear and socks do zombies wear? Haaaanes.
- What did the zombie buy from the jewellery store? Gold chaaaains!
- What does a zombie do with leftover blood? Down the draaain.
- Where do zombies go for vacation? Spaaaain.