F word experience

A restaurant owner has apologised after diners had their very own F word experience.

Ten friends found the abusive and sexually-explicit message on their bill at Joe Delucci's Italian restaurant in Bird Street, Lichfield, Staffordshire.

Diner Clare Watkin said she thought it was written after they complained about poor service.

The party from Walsall had gone to the restaurant on Friday. Owner Nigel Langsdon has begun an investigation.

Ms Watkin said: "I couldn't believe it. The bill read 'fish cakes', which one of us had for a starter, and it was written right above it - absolutely disgusting language.

"We actually booked the table for 8 o' clock in the evening, by the time they had taken our order it was quarter to nine and we didn't actually receive our food until quarter past 10."

She added: "I'd like a written apology from the restaurant and I'd also like some compensation.

"I think that the way that we've been spoken to is absolutely outrageous."

TV chef Gordon Ramsay's foul-mouthed diatribes on his Channel 4 show The F Word have given viewers an insight into the type of language often used in the restaurant kitchen.

Joe Delucci's owner Mr Langsdon said the message had been meant to be seen only by kitchen staff and he did not know how it ended up as an item on the receipt.

He said: "That shouldn't come out on the bill, so we've got to find out what's gone wrong there.

"But we have apologised unreservedly to the girls concerned and said that they're very welcome to come back and have a free meal and we'd like them to."

He has also offered to donate the bill for their meal to charity.

The cost of the meal came to £284.68, including a 10% service charge.

Even Moose Is Able to Use Statue

And this statue looks like a really good listener to the man!



Maybe this man is not drunk; he just wanted to talk to someone who could listen better than his wife.

Morning Wood

This little shop is located along a little street full of furniture stores in Uijeongbu, Korea, near Seoul.

A Very Attractive Young Woman

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman, and was somewhat upset.

"You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me - a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce straight away!"

And Paddy (for it was he) replied "Hang on just a minute luv, so at least I can tell you what happened."

"Fine, go ahead", she sobbed, "but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"

And Paddy began - "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight.
The poor thing devoured them in moments. Since she needed a good clean-up I suggested a shower and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't use because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has a pair the same...

" Here Paddy took a quick breath and continued, "She was so grateful for my understanding and help, and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, "Please... do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?"

Empty and Full Flash

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risc,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!