tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90084454237446848272012-01-07T01:38:33.216-08:00Have Funny Fun Right NOW!Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comBlogger841100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-84553925902234494292012-01-07T01:36:00.000-08:002012-01-07T01:38:33.226-08:00

If you didn't see this on the Tonight Show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not! We have all had bad dates but this has no equal. Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most awkward first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date happening. There was absolutely no question as to why her

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-39860967959927830012011-08-11T03:40:00.000-07:002011-08-11T03:40:52.724-07:00

This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionallism goes right out the window... He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs. "Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor? "Yes, checking for abnormalities." she replies. He tells her to take off her shirt

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-65581880452434336552011-04-29T17:41:00.000-07:002011-04-29T17:41:00.053-07:00

New research has discovered that people who undertake fitness routines and strict diets are at least as likely to die as persons who smoke, are obese, or both. The research team had concluded that it doesn't matter what you do, you are going to die. False claims that poor people who are fat and who smoke are more likely to die than wealthy people who are generally slimmer and who eat properly

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-23044774937707934982011-02-11T00:52:00.000-08:002011-02-11T00:52:56.302-08:00

Jeff and Mike are in a car accident and both die. Upon Jeff's arrival at the Pearly Gates, he is met by St. Peter. "Where is my friend Mike?" Jeff asked. St. Peter replies, "Well, Mike was not as fortunate as you. He went in the other direction instead of getting into Heaven." Jeff was disappointed in this and asked, "Well, could I see Mike one more time just to be sure he is OK?" So,

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-40651042123136626302011-01-18T09:14:00.000-08:002011-01-18T09:14:12.288-08:00

Did you hear the story about the giraffe? Forget it its too long. What animal has 2 legs 2 eyes 2wind can't fly has a peek ? It's a died bird What do you call a man who lives in an envelope? Bill. Waiter how long will the chips be? About five centimeters each, I expect sir. Wanna know why divorces are so expensive? Because they're worth it. What did the cow say to the other cow? Nothing

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-20827376874622645172011-01-15T23:42:00.000-08:002011-01-15T23:49:20.984-08:00

An 80 year old man was requested by his physician for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the old man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 80 year old man come back and gave doctor the jar, which was as clean and empty as yesterday. The doctor asked, what happened and the man stated "Well, doc, it's like this -

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-33952817268719073152010-12-15T09:08:00.000-08:002010-12-15T09:08:13.364-08:00

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a gorgeous much younger girl at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girl. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $7,000 ring. The old man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.' At that statement, the jeweller went to his special stock and brought

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-4635858781299756602010-11-16T10:58:00.000-08:002010-11-16T11:00:21.333-08:00

Four guys spend weeks planning the ideal desert camping and riding trip. Three days before the group is to leave Rob's wife puts her foot down and informs him he isn't going. Rob's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do. Three days later the three get to the camping site only to find Rob sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and meal cooking on the fire. "God

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-79365901306917506992010-11-09T22:27:00.000-08:002010-11-09T22:41:33.688-08:00

A guy is at work one day when he notices that his coworker is wearing an earring. This guy knows his coworker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."The guy walks up to him and says, "I didn’t know you were into earrings.""Don’t make such a big deal, it’s only an earring," he replies modestly.So, the guy falls silent for a moment, but then

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-83133188391446123892010-10-12T23:13:00.000-07:002010-10-12T23:28:44.599-07:00

One cow says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?" The other cow says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"Teacher: Did you father help your with your homework? Student: No, he did it all by himself.A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi. B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.Mother: "Did you enjoy your first day at school?" Girl: "First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?Patient:

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-9190230024073439702010-09-30T07:41:00.000-07:002010-09-30T07:54:36.870-07:00

A man escapes from jail where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-39061033113946312022010-09-26T00:21:00.000-07:002010-09-26T00:25:15.131-07:00

I'm sick of specialists. There are ear doctors, nose doctors, throat doctors, any place you've got a hole, there's a guy who dedicate yourself to this hole. They make an entire career out of that hole. And if the ear doctor, nose doctor, gynecologist can't help you, he sends you to a surgeon. Why? So he can make a new hole!Surgeon goes to hell. Devil says, "You have a choice between these 2 doors

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-69211020070305538322010-09-21T03:29:00.000-07:002010-09-21T03:48:26.871-07:00

When I have lunch today, I saw an old gentleman sitting on a park bench cry his heart out. I stopped and asked him what was the problem.He said, 'I have a 22 year old spouse at home. She rubs my back every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee.'I inquired, 'Well, then why are you crying?'He added, 'She makes me homemade soup for lunch and

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-14216596565977312242010-06-01T05:23:00.000-07:002010-06-02T01:57:03.012-07:00

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful companion awake. "Watson, look up at the sky and inform me what you see." Watson responded, "I see millions and millions of stars.""What does that tell you?" Holmes questioned.Watson pondered for a

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-63988315775143793312010-05-25T23:12:00.000-07:002010-05-25T23:17:26.646-07:00

Johnny and his DadAn old man lived alone in Milford. He intended to dig his potato garden, but it was very difficult work. His only son, Johnny, who used to help him, was in jail. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his difficulty.Dear Johnny, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-41708784063017984542010-05-19T21:58:00.000-07:002010-05-19T22:22:03.513-07:00

Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the advanced programmer and decide to hold a contest, with God as the judge. They sit themselves at their computers and begin. They type energetically, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. But right before the end of the struggle, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the power. Seconds later, the power is restored,

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-11102365896450224512010-03-17T04:00:00.000-07:002010-03-17T04:20:14.708-07:00

Most men like women. But, most men like beer too ! So, for men it becomes a rather confusing choice between women and beer! Next findings are just to help you analyze which is better ! Women, please, kindly take it in the right sense.A Beer is always wet, a woman is not! 1 point for beer!Beer is horrible, when it is hot! 1 point for women!A cold beer, satisfies you! 1 point for beer!10 beers in a

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-10321293790895420662010-02-24T07:46:00.000-08:002010-02-24T08:16:25.858-08:00

A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished clients. "I'll make you a deal. I will open this alligator's jaws and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his jaws for one minute. He will then open his jaws and I will remove my unit unhurt. In return for watching this show, each of you will buy me a drink."

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-41960840364603260272010-02-03T09:43:00.000-08:002010-02-03T10:39:00.512-08:00

Grandma Is BetterLittle Johnny says to his mother "Mommy, I have to go and tinkle."The mother replies back "Would you like Mommy to take you?"Little Johnny says, "No, let grandma... her hand shakes!"Care for GrandmaThe family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn in her wheel chair where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma could not talk very well but she could write notes

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-42792997253326892802010-01-29T00:21:00.000-08:002010-01-29T00:25:17.482-08:00

In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand.He approached her and asked; " Mrs.. Jones, do you know me?"She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I have known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you are a big disappointment to me.You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them behind their

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-73415622439057778592009-12-12T03:34:00.000-08:002009-12-12T03:41:10.565-08:00

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you.Wife, "Don't you think a little common sense would prevent many divorces?"Husband, "Why, I'm sure that it would keep people from getting

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-84025058044696502362009-12-10T03:00:00.000-08:002009-12-10T03:33:56.270-08:00

To all my friends who in 2009 sent me best wishes, chain letters, angel letters or other best wishes, none of that stuff worked! For 2010, could you please just send money, beer, chocolate, movie tickets, and gasoline vouchers as an alternative? Thank you!Two men were walking down the street when a robber approaches them and demands their money at knifepoint. They both grudgingly pull out their

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-18351613984071492682009-10-26T03:14:00.000-07:002009-10-26T04:08:42.791-07:00

FlexibilityProudDon't_lie_to_me

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-67059439208514174242009-10-10T12:22:00.000-07:002009-10-10T12:29:17.063-07:00

Right now, when the Woody Harrelson's 'Zombieland' finds that tricky balance of the laugh-out-loud funny and the make-you-jump scary, it is right time to recollect some old zombie jokes!- How do you know a zombie is tired? - He's dead on his feet.- What's a zombie say when he gets a letter from his girlfriend? - It's a dead-letter day.- What's a zombie's favorite shampoo? - Head and shoulders-

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-67897792587939309722009-10-09T04:35:00.000-07:002009-10-09T04:40:41.247-07:00

- Math is like love; a simple idea, but it can get complicated.- Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN ? - She didn't know what ONE came first...- Several scientists were all posed the following question: "What is pi ?" - The engineer said: "It is approximately 3 and 1/7" - The physicist said: "It is 3.14159" - The mathematician thought a bit, and replied "It is equal to pi". - A

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-89991316540498981742009-09-28T01:07:00.000-07:002009-09-28T01:09:55.084-07:00

- The original name of Bank of America was Bank of Italy.- Turtles can breathe through their butts.- Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33.- In Cleveland, Ohio it is illegal to catch mice without a hunting license.- Walt Disney was afraid of mice.- Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn’t wear pants.- McDonalds calls frequent buyers of their food heavy users.

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-39684461422477176782009-09-16T21:53:00.000-07:002009-09-16T23:00:43.822-07:00

/* story seems to be not so funny or short ;), but inspiring */A man and his dog were walking along a street. The man was get pleasure from walk, when it suddenly idea that he was dead comed to his mind. He recalled dying, and that his faithful dog had been dead for many years. He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-73505799496439700722009-08-24T11:50:00.000-07:002009-09-26T05:22:08.611-07:00

District 9, is a 2009 science fiction film directed by Neill Blomkamp, released on August 14, 2009 in North America by TriStar Pictures, starring Sharlto Copley, Jason Cope and Robert Hobbs. If you saw this movie you will like this picture - District 9 Little Prawn Bound Toy!

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-24402791847367025662009-08-24T00:42:00.000-07:002009-08-24T00:48:21.468-07:00

A guy walks into a bar, sits down next to a different guy and instantly notices the guy has a very huge Bic cigarette lighter.The first guy says "Wow, that’s a enormous lighter…where did you get it?"The guy replies, "A genie from this bottle granted me one wish.""Great, can I try it?""Sure."The first guy rubs the bottle and the genie come out. "You are granted one wish," says the genie.The guy

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-31811980858604867382009-05-04T06:42:00.000-07:002009-05-04T11:28:23.215-07:00

There was a man who lost one of his arms in an accident. He became very depressed because he had loved to play guitar and do many things that took two arms.One day he had had it. He decided to commit suicide. He got on an elevator and went to the top of a building to jump off. He was standing on the edge looking down and saw this man skipping along, whistling and kicking up his heels. He looked

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-27215794650572896622009-04-26T11:29:00.000-07:002009-04-26T12:07:19.903-07:00

A well-dressed salesman stopped a man in the street and asked - 'Sir, would you like to buy a bottle of this mouthwash for $200?' The man said, "Are you nuts? that's robbery!" The salesman seemed hurt and then tries again - 'Sir, since you are a bit irate, I'll sell it to you at half price - $100?' Yet again, the man replies frankly – 'You must be crazy pal, now go away!' The salesman then

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-36474913149171907662009-04-13T03:32:00.000-07:002009-04-13T05:46:39.222-07:00

Regardless of what you may hear, there's still many women these days, who are excellent "housekeepers". Seems each time they get a divorce, they keep the house.-------------------------------------A French guest, staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper. "Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge. "Toilette pepper!"----------------------------------------------

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-37544375274437939032009-03-25T04:51:00.000-07:002009-03-25T04:51:04.687-07:00

In the USA there is a gameshow where you have to make up short poems containing a special word with in one minute. In the final show there are only two people left: A rabby from New York and a farmer from NZ. They get the word "Timbouktou". The rabby is first. He starts:"I was a father all my life,I had no children, had no wife,I read the bible through and throughon my way to Timbuktu....."The

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-24507473341863425542009-03-24T04:26:00.000-07:002009-03-24T04:26:07.865-07:00

George W. Bush meets with the Queen of England. He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?" "Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people." Bush frowns. "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?" The Queen takes a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just ask

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-80079342937467438212009-03-23T03:38:00.000-07:002009-03-23T04:21:28.525-07:00

A secondary school student asked his teacher if a person should be punished for something he hadn't done. "Of course not," said the teacher. "Good," said the boy. "I haven't done my homework."Teacher: Give me a sentence beginning with 'I'. Student: I is the... Teacher: No. You must say "I am" not "I is." Student: All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.Teacher: What do you get if you

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-84981254653602160022009-03-23T02:32:00.000-07:002009-03-23T02:47:51.432-07:00

A Teddy bear, that have a USB 2.0 flash drive inside. hen you plug your Teddy Bear(that is also an USB) to your computer he looks very funny. The bear looks like he got his head stuck in the computer.Below is a fun MP3 player for little gadget geeks, the USB Teddy Bear MP3 Player. This teddy bear MP3 player has the volume and MP3 controls built into its feet, it also has a built in voice recorder.

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-8480254718242071832009-02-22T22:32:00.000-08:002009-04-13T05:39:01.064-07:00

Telephone answering machine message: "Hi. I'm probably here, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."-------------------------------------The head teacher was taking her class round an art gallery. She stopped in front of one exhibit, and sneered at the guide, "I suppose that is some kind of modern art?" "No, madam," replied the guide."I'm

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-25421271319450356062009-02-21T21:55:00.000-08:002009-02-21T22:22:34.726-08:00

Night of passionShortly after a long night of passion, the young male rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand."There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied.He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man.

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-22459396128960113112009-02-12T03:20:00.000-08:002009-02-12T03:22:49.565-08:00

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-13470621882172340042009-02-02T05:08:00.000-08:002009-02-02T05:17:43.602-08:00

Reporters conducting street interviews on the candidates for CNN (These are not jokes). Reporter: What do you think of Barrack Obama? Middle-aged man: I think we should be trying harder to capture him. What are we doing in Iraq when Obama is still out there, still a threat to America? Reporter: No, I mean Barrack Obama from Chicago. What do you think of him? Middle-aged man: How did he get into

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-73658894006146849952009-01-25T03:45:00.001-08:002009-01-25T03:49:36.037-08:00

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-61194330437203680962009-01-24T08:04:00.000-08:002009-01-24T10:26:46.731-08:00

There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife." So he got his wife to promise him with all her

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-35684066728017333082008-12-30T02:33:00.000-08:002008-12-30T03:43:07.857-08:00

Dreams, dreams...Emily was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve. After she woke up, she confided to Joseph, her husband, - 'I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year's present. What do you think it all means?' - 'You'll know tonight,' answered Joseph smiling broadly. At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Joseph approached Emily and handed her small package.

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-3775653587805583142008-10-01T01:04:00.000-07:002008-10-01T01:04:00.304-07:00

All of these are companies that didn't spend quite enough time considering how their online names might appear - and be misread...- Who Represents is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity. Their Web site is www.whorepresents.com/- Experts Exchange is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange Advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com/- Looking for a pen?

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-1555256633177456622008-06-28T22:52:00.000-07:002008-06-28T23:01:45.671-07:00

Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible,I look at your picture and the problem disappears.Wife : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?Hubby : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself,"What other problem can there be greater than this one?"-----------------------------------------------Girl: When we

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-90272066108213107222008-04-11T03:35:00.000-07:002008-04-11T04:15:01.453-07:00

On a weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. She was ready to take a break from the slots for dinner with her husband in the hotel dining room. But first she wanted to stash the quarters in her room. "I'll be right back and we'll go to eat," she told her husband and carried the coin-laden bucket to the elevator.As she was about to walk into the elevator

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-43847404085197496202008-04-11T02:07:00.000-07:002008-04-11T02:19:56.439-07:00

A Young woman had been taking golf lessons. She had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting.The pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse. The golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and asked, "Why are you back in so early? What's wrong?" "I was stung by a bee." "Where?" he asked. "Between the first and second hole", she replied. The golf

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-64844504062408275832008-04-11T01:48:00.000-07:002008-04-11T01:49:19.552-07:00

Four short funny outrageous commercials from outside of the US...

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-63138828386485959572008-04-11T01:16:00.000-07:002008-04-11T01:47:46.279-07:00

This guy in a bar notices a woman, always alone, who comes in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move."No thank you," she said politely." "This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I'm keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love.""That must be rather difficult," the man replied."Oh, I don't mind too much," she said. "But, it has my husband pretty upset."

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-39007902142381160052008-02-20T03:02:00.000-08:002008-02-20T03:05:58.103-08:00

Description on packaging:Camel Toe Annie says: If there is someone you want to get to know, show ‘em the Toe!! Easily and securely attaches to the included “Toe-Belt”Features:Not tested on camelsMolded of durable TeflonCamel Toe Annie approvedEach CTC is numbered and registered at our central office, in case you leave it after a night of whorin’ or it is found in a dumpsterDeep Groove™ channel

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-64565223813533832072008-02-20T02:14:00.000-08:002008-02-20T02:22:46.883-08:00

A restaurant owner has apologised after diners had their very own F word experience.Ten friends found the abusive and sexually-explicit message on their bill at Joe Delucci's Italian restaurant in Bird Street, Lichfield, Staffordshire. Diner Clare Watkin said she thought it was written after they complained about poor service. The party from Walsall had gone to the restaurant on Friday. Owner

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-37638953754590320232008-02-20T01:18:00.000-08:002008-02-20T08:16:08.360-08:00

And this statue looks like a really good listener to the man!Maybe this man is not drunk; he just wanted to talk to someone who could listen better than his wife.

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-27823439389351079012008-02-14T01:04:00.000-08:002008-02-14T01:10:55.071-08:00

This little shop is located along a little street full of furniture stores in Uijeongbu, Korea, near Seoul.

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-2068637963722958142008-01-08T02:05:00.000-08:002008-01-08T02:15:38.172-08:00

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman, and was somewhat upset."You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me - a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce straight away!"And Paddy (for it was he) replied "Hang on just a minute luv, so at least I can tell you what

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-10172604018699557602008-01-06T19:18:00.000-08:002008-01-06T19:27:15.719-08:00

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk, And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risc, Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM. Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-9816856365050437512007-12-29T19:45:00.000-08:002007-12-29T19:59:36.035-08:00

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-89881486441490012702007-12-14T18:49:00.002-08:002007-12-14T19:14:40.362-08:00

- The professor's controversial attempt at combating fear of water, heights, and blurry people.- wait, i know a way to change the water, quick and clean- That's Michael Jackson under the blue tarp in the background.- looks safe.- I don't get it; what's wrong with the pool?- Really easy way to kill 10 people with one rifle shot.- Looks like a someone setting up a swimming pool death-trap in The

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-90777164572822620042007-12-09T21:52:00.001-08:002007-12-09T22:10:27.489-08:00

If you love to laugh... you don't want to miss out on this! Over 460 Pages Of Little Snickers, Medium-Sized Chuckles, And Great Big Belly Laughs, all in one huge collection. All arranged into an attractive laugh-filled eBook that can be downloaded in minutes. Hours & hours of great entertainment at your fingertips! Download your copy today!Need more laughter in your life? Check this out...

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-73970446030166785602007-12-03T21:32:00.000-08:002007-12-03T21:34:14.241-08:00

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-24955654885736601052007-11-14T06:45:00.000-08:002007-11-14T07:22:18.466-08:00

During a rather boring courtroom trial and on a very hot day one of the jurors was having trouble staying awake and finally succumbed to sleep just as the prosecutor began to question the victim."The defendant is accused of making obscene phone calls to you at your home. We would like you to tell the jury what the defendant said to you word for word when he called you that night," asked the

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-16683732452322178232007-11-12T09:36:00.000-08:002007-11-12T10:22:49.027-08:00

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-62366523505544237632007-11-10T03:47:00.000-08:002007-11-10T03:49:49.063-08:00

A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman, who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals for him to bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard, which is full and bushy."Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands."Actually, no" he replies."

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-59731091342054776612007-11-10T02:34:00.000-08:002007-11-10T02:38:49.055-08:00

At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth" even when you don’t know anything. The boy decides to go home and try it out. As he is greeted by his mother at the front door he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don’t

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-60488506320129796972007-11-07T08:39:00.000-08:002007-11-07T09:02:35.195-08:00

Say, "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they’re trying to speak. Maybe sing a song with all "No’s" This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could it. Ask, "How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, or is it like that other money

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-16435928753376568052007-10-30T09:52:00.000-07:002007-10-30T10:11:27.177-07:00

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-61779429958761417772007-10-29T06:33:00.000-07:002007-10-29T07:01:21.272-07:00

If you ever will become a beggar (God forbid!) you need to know how to get more money from people. First, people tend to react much better to funny begging than to "awful" one. Write you begging very clearly to be understandable by everyone. If you are going to be sad people will ignore you. Try to be funny and some people will reward you for your smile. This rule is actual even if you are not a

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-23096500082842952852007-10-27T03:27:00.000-07:002007-10-27T04:15:13.064-07:00

An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.I've been in love with the same

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-71353499615625804392007-10-26T03:05:00.000-07:002007-10-26T03:40:19.136-07:00

A store that sells husbands, where a woman may go to choose a husband, has just opened. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-76361203033606417842007-10-25T09:00:00.000-07:002007-10-25T09:05:39.772-07:00

Working on the mental ward can become a little hectic - but this doctor knows how to take everything as it comes. During his usual morning rounds he stopped by the two top patients that act the strangest.He found Patient his first patient sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half. Next to him was his friend who was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.The doctor asked the

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-59688375443763392172007-10-25T02:33:00.000-07:002007-10-25T02:53:44.297-07:00

A man walked into a pet shop and said,- "I'd like a puppy for my son."- "Sorry sir," said the store owner, "we don't do part exchange."A vampire bat comes back to his fellow vampires with a blood on his mouth. They ask him where he got the blood. He asks them, - "Did you see that tree back there?"- "Sure," they reply.- "Well I didn't!"- My dog is a nuisance. He chases everyone on a bicycle. What

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-79314683619559607782007-10-25T02:21:00.000-07:002007-10-25T03:06:20.842-07:00

This guy goes to a bar that's on the tenth floor of a hotel. He sits down and has a couple of drinks, then stands up, announces loudly that he has had enough, and goes over and jumps out the window. Now, there are two men who are sitting at a window table, and having that natural human curiosity about the grotesque, watch as this man plummets to certain death.However, just as he is about to hit

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-73229441517419750012007-10-25T01:41:00.000-07:002007-10-25T02:17:46.524-07:00

The college professor had just finished explaining an important research project to his class. He emphasized that this paper was an absolute requirement for passing his class, and that there would be only two acceptable excuses for being late. Those were a medically certifiable illness or a death in the student's immediate family.A "smart" student in the back of the classroom waved his hand and

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-23564824355237197272007-10-21T00:46:00.000-07:002007-10-25T03:06:02.138-07:00

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.The probability of being involved in a traffic accident is directly proportional to time spent on the road. Driving fast decreases one's exposure. One third of traffic accidents are caused by drunk drivers; two thirds are caused by non-drunk drivers. Therefore, the safest way to

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-77381403789674502602007-10-07T00:06:00.000-07:002007-10-07T00:17:35.178-07:00

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?""Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with a smirk. "That's fine," said the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, and then

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-40462765282391493972007-10-06T23:48:00.000-07:002007-10-06T23:59:23.702-07:00

A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull."The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant."The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ''What

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-63997725992263800422007-09-19T00:41:00.000-07:002007-09-19T00:43:29.657-07:00

Carnegie Mellon University professor Scott E. Fahlman typed twenty-five years ago: "I propose that the following character sequence for joke markers – :-)". The suggestion gave computer users a way to convey humor or positive feelings with a smile -- or the opposite sentiments by reversing the parenthesis to form a frown. Language experts say the smiley face and other emotional icons, known as

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-64372382850353029952007-09-16T04:58:00.000-07:002007-09-16T05:38:23.222-07:00

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-70255464112500234142007-09-16T04:06:00.000-07:002007-09-16T04:14:17.435-07:00

A donkey sits trapped in an abandoned well before being rescued Thursday, Sept. 13, 2007, at the Bryan Nelson residence about 10 miles northeast of Underwood, Minn. Firefighters dismantled the well to free the donkey which had some bruises and lost some fur where it rubbed against the concrete walls of the well, but was otherwise fine.

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-17283119026015288282007-08-25T08:54:00.000-07:002007-08-25T09:02:40.917-07:00

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-2944286338053346642007-08-02T00:45:00.000-07:002007-08-02T00:47:18.956-07:00

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-87868992737847230982007-07-26T03:50:00.000-07:002007-07-26T03:52:59.726-07:00

The sweetest lady was not very computer literate. After she got her new computer, she said, "Where are my programs?" I told her that I had made shortcuts on her desktop to the programs she used. She said, "When I click on the icon, that's not the right program." When I asked her which program she was referring to, she said, "The third icon down." I asked her which program that was. "Oh, I don't

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-12553921062590059052007-07-26T02:10:00.000-07:002007-07-26T02:17:38.986-07:00

Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteen. Q: What year? A: Every year.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-68082276472228451652007-07-26T01:14:00.000-07:002007-07-26T01:53:39.087-07:00

What can astonish us most of all? Sure, it's children and pets.They are brilliant and ingenuous even on dull day.Isn't this family photo funny?

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9008445423744684827.post-61096855783528856092007-07-18T10:08:00.000-07:002007-07-18T10:09:29.348-07:00

An office manager at WallMart was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes, he found four people, who were equally qualified - an American, a Russian, an Australian and a Filipino. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine who of them would get the job. The day came and as the four sat

Sarah Kinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12153377741315266237noreply@blogger.com